Today’s proverb seems as if it is just for the ladies, but I assure you it is not. It reads:
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but she who causes shame is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4 is pretty straightforward. A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown. The Hebrew word translated as “noble character” is chayil. Literally, it means strength, efficiency, or wealth. Another way this word is translated is army. What is the author saying here in these few short words?
1 Corinthians 11:7 says
A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. (emphasis mine)
These are parallel verses. Paul, in Corinthians, is conveying the same essential message as the author of Proverbs. The Greek word Paul used for “glory” is doxa. It can also mean honor.
I like the word “glory.” It signifies the highest expression of a thing. When the Bible speaks of the glory of God, it’s talking about the superlative expression, or the highest expression, of God. The most sublime aspects of God’s nature. When Jesus said, in Matthew 6:29 that Solomon, “in all his glory (doxa),” was not adorned like the lilies of the field, he was essentially saying that the highest, most superlative part of Solomon’s wealth and wisdom could not reach the glory of the lilies of the field. How could that be?
If we go back to the garden of Eden, we learn that God created Adam from the dust of the earth, but he formed Eve out of Adam. Genesis 2:23 reads:
And the man said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of man she was taken.” (again, emphasis mine)
You see, woman is man’s glory, his crown, because she was taken out of man. When God created man he also created woman, but she was inside the man. God took the woman out of the man and gave her to the man as a gift, not to be used by him but to be in relationship with him. To serve and be served by him. If you’ve ever heard the expression, “Behind every great man is a woman,” then you’ve come close to the picture that God is conveying with the words in Proverbs 12:4 and 1 Corinthians 11:7. A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown because she completes him, makes him proud, and becomes an achievement to add to any achievements of his own.
To summarize: No matter how great a man is, no matter how awesome his achievements, they are not his crown. They may be great things and lead to great rewards, but a noble wife—a wife of noble character—is the crown jewel of his life. She will bring him much honor.
Decay in His Bones
In contrast, a shameful woman is like decay in a man’s bones. She drags him down, causes him much pain, and makes like unbearable. She is the death of him—spiritually.
Mark 10:7-8 say of a husband and wife
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
As husband and wife, a man and woman are no longer two individuals. They are one. Whatever one does impacts the other. If one of them acts shamefully in public, it is a reflection of the other. This mutual spiritual reality reflects the nature of the relationship and reflects the nature of the relationship between God and His church.
The proverb is not intended, as some men try to make it, to place woman in subservience to man. Women do not exist merely for man’s pleasure. The idea is that both man and woman are a glory to God, but the woman is a glory to man in the same way that the church is a glory to God. Christ is its head, but the church is Christ’s body. They go hand in hand, and one without the other incomplete. Their relationship is symbiotic. A shame to one is a shame to the other; a glory to one is a glory to the other.
What Men Can Learn From Proverbs 12:4
While Proverbs 12:4 acts as an exhortation to wives to be of noble character, it is not merely an exhortation to wives. It is also an exhortation to men who are seeking wives. Any man who wants his achievements in life to be crowned with a higher glory should seek a woman who is of noble character as opposed to a woman who acts shamefully.
More importantly, as the church, we should reflect deeply about our relationship to our Lord. Are we a shameful woman or a woman of noble character?